Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
