i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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