her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
