i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He better not be in your backpack
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
