I faked an abortion last night.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
