Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
