she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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