So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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