Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
