and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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