going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dicks are not precious.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
