Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize