Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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