I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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