if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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