Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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