you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
