Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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