What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
