Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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