Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Randomize