I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
