Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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