After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize