So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
