It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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