i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
