T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
