No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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