His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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