but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
