Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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