Your mouth is God's brothel.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
