dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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