Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I faked an abortion last night.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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