I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
