i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
