if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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