You're a womanizer and a bitch.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
