Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
