Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
