You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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