Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
