is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
