you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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