1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Found your dick twin last night
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
