Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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