i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
