he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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