i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
