i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
