How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
