I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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