Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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