the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
