I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
