Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You can't just leave with hair like that
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think i got beer on your cat.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
