I'm really into asian looking animals
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
