he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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