i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
