Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
