i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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